the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
