your parents love me but you hate me
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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