The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
