my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
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