there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Randomize