i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
