apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
