Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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