So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
