if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
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