i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
