glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize