Grow some girl-balls and come out already
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Randomize
