I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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