before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
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