But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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