Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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