True but thats because hes a fetus.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize