Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
