nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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