I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I have so many feelings about this burrito
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
