I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
This beer is not sobering me up at all
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
