Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
