We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
