Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
