So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Randomize
