i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
