I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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