id be glad to
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
