so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
How does one acquire holy water?
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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