i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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