Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
