dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
