She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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