When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
