Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
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