Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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