We named our party play list daddy issues
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
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