You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
You're a waste of cheezeits
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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