return my video game
You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
