i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
You are a genius and a whore.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
