he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
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