the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
