Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
