After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
