no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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