We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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