There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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