I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
