Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
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