I CAN MOONWALK!
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize
