Porn is love you can see.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
