ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
