I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Randomize
