quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
