I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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