No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize