it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
You're like the curious george of whores
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
