I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
