very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
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