She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
She's like a pop up book from hell.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
