remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
