She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
