She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize
