Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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