doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
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