Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Boobs are out for the taking
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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