What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
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