I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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