I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
