Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
