i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
