Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
He better not be in your backpack
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
pray to the hookup gods
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize