what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
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