I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
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