"it" just moved
I want to walk on stilts...naked
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
You're a waste of cheezeits
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Randomize
