i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
