her vagine was all disorganized.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Randomize
