I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
