Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
