I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
